my hands smell like
lemons
today
because my throat was so
achingly d r y
that I
had to make
lemon stew.
[recipe, thanks to my mother who
I never got along with very well
but we seemed to coexist well-enough]
honey
boiled
with pure lemon juice.
hand-
squeezed.
now I sit silent with nothing
but the music flowing through the
room to soothe my
fearful heart
because
you know I fear nothing
[not lions, not tigers, not bears]
but I do fear
the possibility of falling
[deeper and deeper
beyond the surface of your eyes
and that frightens the hell out of me...
the mere idea of being a fool]
for you.
my lips taste like lemons today
but I'm not bitter.
I'm just a little
shaken
by the falling snow outside my window
screaming
uncertainty
beyond my curtains.
few things seem to be
constant,
to be undeniably true.
but the truth running through my head
today
is the bitterly sweet terror of
loving you.
# ranting @
7:46 PM
0 rantback(s)
4.04.2009
little messages
to my beloved
who just
doesn't love me
and he
never knew...
never would think
that a girl
700 miles away
would have the courage to say
i
love
you
[and it turns out
that she simply does not]
but she hopes
that this undeniable
link
between two kindred
souls
would be
the key
[it seems, one is so much like the other
yet
one is so different from the]
others have come
others have gone
but this-
but you
have stayed in my
heart
for longer than I can
appreciate
at this moment.
and I would ask you to leave
if only
I wanted you to.
# ranting @
2:37 AM
0 rantback(s)
4.01.2009
long lines of
rhyming words
seem to make no difference
in the [terribly selfish] feeling that I seem to have for
you.
and I care
less
and
l e s s
for emotions
as the one I hold for you gets
stronger with time.
once,
I sat with my eyes toward the sky,
sunshine embracing my every cell
and I thought of
you
and hoped you could feel the
warmth
and beauty
that I had felt at that moment.
[so did you?
if you are reading this
did you feel it?]
and then I
closed these eyes
and
prayed
you felt something...
# ranting @
11:18 PM
0 rantback(s)
in a dark room
we
were entwined for
two minutes
and thirty two seconds
as our bodies
moved
to the flow of the heartbeat bassline
you
me
us
together for a moment
and we both lost our way
to each other
once the song was over
and my eyes shifted to
another.
[you
were
only
temporary.]
